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McMahan wasn't moving. We were holding up the serving line, but she had more to say. "I suppose you know that her husband was a gangster?" I've heard stories," I said."I've warned him not to encourage her, but he's an easy mark for a widow with children. My son is too charitable for his own good." May I have some gravy on my potatoes?" I asked, and received a grateful nod from the server for making Mrs. McMahan see that she was holding up the line. I followed her to a table where her friends had saved two seats for us.I watched Paige follow Gordon to a nearby table, and take a seat next to him. After a prayer, I busied myself by remembering the names of Mrs. McMahan's friends. I even tolerated their praise for Gordon until I couldn't take any more. Someone, either Gordon or his mother, had elevated his role in the distribution committee to the lofty position of leader. I choked on the roast beef when I heard one of them say that Gordon gave the directions and the rest of us bowed to. By now, my life in the other timeline seemed almost as if it was a figment of my imagination. I knew I'd lived that life, and I had full possession of the memories. But often, I would wonder if I really had been 44 years old. I'd wonder if I had really been in a hot "adult" relationship with a gold-digger named Shannon. I'd wonder if an ugly bitch named Inez Trujillo had really spit in my face. I had no tangible indications that any of those things had really happened, even though, of course, I knew that they had.I'd come to accept – almost – that I was stuck here in this timeline, and that I'd have to make do with the hand I'd been dealt. But my mindset was changing. Some new goals had emerged. What I now wanted was to re-create my old life in this new reality. So I couldn't go back to the old timeline? Fine. I'd spend the next 27 years attempting to reach the same point in life. Which meant that I'd follow the same path, both academically and professionally. I knew that soon, I'd.
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